What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem refers to an individual's overall sense of self-worth or self-value. It is the evaluation and perception of one's abilities, characteristics, and behaviors that contribute to a positive or negative self-image. It can influence an individual's confidence, decision-making, relationships, and overall well-being. A healthy level of self-esteem involves having a positive view of oneself, acknowledging strengths and weaknesses, and being able to accept and learn from mistakes.

Psychcentral.com describes the difference between high self-esteem and low self-esteem, stating "individuals with high self-esteem believe that they are ADEQUATE, STRONG and WORTHY OF A GOOD LIFE, while individuals who struggle with low self-esteem feel worthless or inadequate." Sometimes people will use other words to describe self-esteem such as self-confidence, self-worth, self-love, or self-respect.

To boil it down, self-esteem is about HOW WE FEEL ABOUT OURSELVES.

Let’s talk about the roots

Self-esteem begins to develop in our childhoods. It molds and evolves throughout our adolescents and into adulthood. Self-esteem is often rooted in our early experiences with parents, friends, teachers, or family. It can also be modeled by caregivers (e.g. Dad speaks positively about himself and his abilities). This modeling usually takes place during those critical years of development.

When we go a little deeper into our childhood roots, it can also be a reflection of the attachment style or the relationship we have with our caregivers. For example, if you grew up with an extremely critical mother, you most likely will view parts of yourself as "not good enough." This may be reinforced if you engage in, say, a romantic relationship that also tells you that you are not good enough, pretty enough, or worthy. If our early experiences are negative then it can cause long-lasting negative effects on how we view ourselves and even how we view others. Not to mention, it can impact the way we relate to others, our view of trust and safety, and our outlook on the world. As a result, focusing on building your self-esteem is critical to your overall well-being and happiness. Let’s explore a few strategies if you feel your self-esteem needs a little support.

5 Self-Esteem Boosting Strategies

Before we dive in, please note, there are a TON of different strategies out there. It is more so about what WORKS FOR YOU! Maybe experiment with a few listed and see where it takes you. I would also recommend tracking how you feel, more importantly how you feel about yourself before and after engaging in one of the activities below. You can utilize a rating scale to take notice of any potential shifts in mood or how you are viewing yourself before and after the practice.

Start a self-affirmation journal - You are probably wondering what the heck is a self-affirmation journal?! A self-affirmation journal is a place where you can reflect and write about the things you value, such as your family, friends, or your career. It is also a space where you can reflect on the areas of your life where you feel a sense of pride (e.g. I feel proud that I completed the project). You may also want to integrate self-affirming statements to help shape a bigger-picture perspective (e.g. I am enough just as I am). There is a body of research highlighting that doing this can bolster an individual's feelings of self-worth (Cohen & Sherman, 2014).
Daily gratitude practice - Now, we all have heard about gratitude. But really, what is gratitude? Well, it is the practice of acknowledging the things, people, and experiences we feel genuinely grateful for. These "things" don't have to be BIG...it can be as simple as "hot showers in the morning," or the "being in the sunshine." Research shows practicing gratitude can improve your relationships, improve your physical and mental health, improve sleep, increase self-esteem, and increases mental strength to name a few (Forbes.com, 2014).
Setting boundaries - Practicing setting boundaries for yourself is key to recognizing and valuing your individual needs. One way to set boundaries is to start saying NO. Maybe you commit to too many social plans and find yourself totally exhausted by the end of the week. It is PERFECTLY OK to say NO sometimes. Recognizing when you need time to yourself builds your ability to feel confident in what you are capable of and who you are as a person, thus building overall self-esteem.
Mindful eating habits - We are all well aware that eating healthy is something we should be doing on a daily basis. Tons of research highlights the positive effects on the body and mind when we eat clean whole foods. It provides our bodies with the nutrients it needs in order to keep the body functioning properly. Eating clean can be hard at times, and if you just need that cookie to boost your mood, well go ahead and eat it. Maybe tell yourself that you will make sure to eat a handful of greens during your next meal! The way we feel in our bodies directly affects the way we feel about ourselves.
Intentional Movement - We know that the mind and body are inherently connected. Research has shown exercise or movement provides numerous benefits to both the body and mind. Physical activity helps to release endorphins, which are natural feel-good chemicals that can boost your mood and reduce stress and anxiety. Additionally, movement can improve cardiovascular health, increase muscle strength and endurance, and enhance flexibility and balance. Regular exercise has been shown to improve cognitive function and memory, and can even reduce the risk of developing conditions such as dementia and Alzheimer's disease. So whether it's going for a walk, hitting the gym, or practicing yoga, incorporating movement into your daily routine can have a significant positive impact on both your physical and mental well-being. Often times when we intentionally work to move our bodies, we ignite a sense of accomplishment, which can then increase our self-efficacy (i.e. self-efficacy is the belief in one's own ability to perform and accomplish a specific task or goal). Increased self-efficacy in turn increases our overall self-esteem.

Like any practice in life, it takes time, energy, and effort to work on these parts of ourselves. Give yourself compassion along the way.

- Dr. Kelly Vincent, Licensed Psychologist

Disclaimer: Please note, the information offered on this website/blog is not, nor is it intended to be, therapy or psychological advice, nor does it constitute a client/therapist relationship. Please consult a mental health provider for individual support regarding your own personal health or well-being or call 1-800-950-NAMI for resources and support.